https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/ Personal blog for Christie Koehler. "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward." Sat, 31 Dec 2016 23:52:02 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.2.3 https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/#comment-1015 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 07:42:38 +0000 https://subfictional.com/?p=23621#comment-1015 first: *huggs*
second: Having never been in this situation, I can’t really offer you any real advice, but I’d have to agree with Marco. This is really about you and what you need out of this situation. If you have questions, then I’d say reach out. Just please be aware of the possible pain that it could cause, you have a great support group here in town, please let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.

]]> https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/#comment-1013 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 03:31:07 +0000 https://subfictional.com/?p=23621#comment-1013 Good post, Christie. Curious, have Will and/or Casey gotten in touch with him since this?

]]> https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/#comment-1012 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:18:00 +0000 https://subfictional.com/?p=23621#comment-1012 Wow. I remember that story, but never tied it to you in any way. That’s a helluva thing right there. Sans the obvious added complexity of your situation, I’ve done both, as in reestablished contact with an estranged family member… but also the reverse with my father. In both cases it came down to a simple question, “Will my life be enriched by ending this estrangement, or will it be a lot of angst and hard work for little return… or negative return?” I suspect the same is true for you. Best wishes.

]]> https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/#comment-1011 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:49:44 +0000 https://subfictional.com/?p=23621#comment-1011 Wow Christie, this is an incredibly intense story. Thank you. You and your writings are by far one of the most thought provoking people / blogs i’ve had the honor of making an acquaintance with, largely due to the mutually shared familial themes you write about. My estrangement from various parts of my family are not nearly as intense as you and your father, but the one phrase that has been a talisman to me in recent years is- “growth is a crooked art” meaning, growth and change of my person- especially with family issues, has almost always happened in the most indirect of ways and under the most unexpected of circumstances. That may or may not resonate with your situation, but I figured I would share :)

]]> https://subfictional.com/no-way-to-say-goodbye/#comment-1010 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:23:36 +0000 https://subfictional.com/?p=23621#comment-1010 Make peace – if only for you. Say whatever things you need to say. It’s not about reconciliation it’s about closure. Do it before you lose the opportunity to say your piece.

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