In his recent TEDx talk, Jay Smooth explains that in the context of talking about racism, we need to start thinking about being good as a practice:
We need to move away from the premise that being a good person is a fixed, immutable characteristic, and shift towards seeing being good as a practice. A practice that we carry out by engaging with our imperfections.
I think the above applies just as equally to our discussions about sexism, heterosexism, cissexism, speciesism, etc.
You can watch the whole talk below (it’s short and worth the time):
Also, if you haven’t seen Jay Smooth’s video about How to Tell People They Sound Racist, go check it out. It’s a good explanation of why you should focus on behavior and not what a person is.